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Makou-rin [userpic]

Life is stressful but...

October 22nd, 2004 (04:33 pm)
amused

Feels: wheeee~

It's bloody good. X3  Hanged out mostly with Amanda today.  Now I have Tomo's phone number on my cell.  We tried calling him, but I hanged up right away.  A few seconds later, my phone rings and we both freaked out thinking it was Tomo calling back. XD;  It ended up being Bryan.  I text messaged him to call me right away since I wanted to catch a ride with him when my brother comes to pick him up from his house.  So yesh.. Walked with Amanda to the subway (and yes I skipped Mr. Brown's class >_>;; ) and retraced the old route to my old home in Toronto.  *sighs*  I met Bryan at Eglinton West Station too.  We went to his house and waited for Kuya to get there.  Got to play Fable for a bit. X3  Character's name is Solana.  I DID want him to become evil... until Bryan showed me his evil character and realized what an ugly fork you end up looking like.  Those bull horns are a no-no dammit.

Kuya came about an hour after we called him.  We stayed at Bryan's till 3, then headed home.  Got here at about 4:00.  The traffic was pretty nasty...

Sooo... now... I'm stuck designing the logo for ACS.  Yay.  I already have it sketched out, but now I have to draw it in photoshop so they can get it on the t-shirts for the group.  I still have to make the larger size before the end of today to put it on the foam board that's going to go on the stage.  *shudders* 

I'm already nervous about the press conference... X_X;;  I memorized the songs I have to sing... but still... All those people...  ergh..

Christoppa and her mom's coming to support us. X3  Bryman's coming tomorrow too with the siblings and the parents.  Pretty much those are the only people I've invited for this.  I'm used to failing in front of them. Ahahaha.. XD  It's gonna be fun afterwards though.  We have two X-Boxes in the house and Bryan brought his copy of Fable.  It's... so... distracting.  I MUST WORK ON THE STAGE STUFF!!  *drags herself away from the computer*

Makou-rin [userpic]

(no subject)

October 19th, 2004 (03:01 am)
happy

Feels: happy

*sniffs shirt*

I stink of cake and cookies...  Damn I smell yummy XD;

Anyway, plans for tomorrow is to meet up with Christoppa and Nyo-nyo at 11:30.  Wait till 2:00 and hang out with the old AF buddies while feeding them the cake and experimental cookies.  Go home and pick up the foam board for the ACS press conference and WORK on the damned thing.  Plus, need to pass by fabric land and make the fabric butterflies that'll accent the stage's curtains and backdrop.  I'll also be working on english homework and studying for my mid-terms.  Need to revisit the AGO to finish my comparitive paper for colour theory.  I also have to pass by blacks to get 3 photos printed off my CD for colour theory on Friday.  *shrugs*  Not much to do school wise.  It's just mainly the press conference that's gonna kill me.

I have to find some time to pass by the stupid grocery to drop my resignation letter and talk to the boss.  *shrug*  Get this done and over with.  I'm moving to Toronto next monday anyway.

Mark and I are back to friendly speaking terms.  He's admitted his wrongs and I've admitted mines.  he won't bug my relationship with Amber and I won't bug him for his actions either.  We'll be less critical of each other's lives in other words.  We never really stay mad at each other for more than a week. O_o;;  *pats the Mark* Such is the mystery of us.  XD

Today was a good day. No worries~ No problem~ All is good. X3

Makou-rin [userpic]

doodah~

October 18th, 2004 (03:10 am)
amused

Feels: trying to change teh mood

Guess what we learned today?

I'm not psychic!  HA!  In your face.

And if I have any job that requires that then I'm really at the wrong place.

Surprisingly, my younger brother pulled through.  Something amusing about him learning how to use the washing machine and ironing his own clothes.  I'm fluttering with pride. XD;;  We talked a lot about his plans after he graduates.  He really wants to go into medicine.  I'm so happy he has everything already set up for himself.  It's nice to see someone who knows how to lead his life in this family XD;  My older brother and myself haven't exactly been the best of people in that area.  Brother doesn't know where to go, I don't know which to stick to.  Sad sad life...

Other than that, talked to the Resu-resu and played iRO with her.  She made an FS Aco too so I helped her level for a bit.  Still playing SO1 of course.  Felpools are so cute... X3  Leon's people have always seem so adorable... Especially Leon~  I suddenly wanna play SO2 now...  Still have to finish SO3 though.  No felpools in that one I think. ;_; I love Felpools....

Probably gonna end up hanging out with Ann today.  Her boyfriend came over I think with his sister to celebrate their... uuh.. 200th... day anniversary?? I don't know... O_o;;  Anyway, she's probably gonna have stories during life drawing class.  She can get kinda scary sometimes, but she's nice.

Urgh... 9:20 class. >_>;  Gonna have to ask for a pick up tomorrow. 

Anyway...  time to faint for the night~ *flutters away*

Makou-rin [userpic]

Concerning IR

October 18th, 2004 (12:34 am)
calm

Feels: calm

I've said this many times before but now I'm taking action.

Since I'm a fucking idiot who's not busy with my life to certain people, then I'll make something clear. 

I'm setting due dates for the publishing project as well as preparations for the AN artist alley tables.  PLUS the Otakon plans.  If the things that need to be done on certain dates don't happen, then too fucking bad for the people who fall behind.  And if you just say "Screw it.  I'm not doing it." Then that's fucking fine since we're not going to slow down for anyone.  It also shows your dedication and concern for the other members of the group.

And since I'm a fucking slack off, I'll be spending more time planning on how AA will run properly this year so most of the members' stuff will be done on their own.  When the dates are set, they're set.  Pretty much repeating what I stated before. 

The publishing project drafts will need to be done by the end of November.  You fucking heard me.  I want your ideas down on paper by the end of November. NOVEMBER 30th 2004.  And screw you if you say you have no time cause we all don't have time since most of us are University/College students.  But if we want to make this work well and use our money and time wisely, you'll find the fucking time since I'm sure you have some.  If you don't think you can do it, fine.  Just tell us ahead of time so we can give more pages to the people who are actually willing to work on their stuff.

And yes I am fucking pissed off.  You know why?  Cause I'm not worth shit even after all the crap I've done for people.  Don't expect me to 'pour out my feelings' to you when I'm troubled because you obviously don't care.  And don't bother telling me your problems since the things I say probably don't matter since you ignore them anyway.  And no, I'm not mad at everyone.  Just mad enough to be pissed off like this.

Christina was the first victim of my real life swearing.  And I thank her for having the patience for me.  I find that whenever I talk with Christina about anything, she knows when to speak if she dislikes something I say or when she disagrees with me.  That way I know how to shut up and consider her feelings and listen to her opinion.  Thanks a lot for taking your time with me Stoppa.  You've always impressed me with your patience and opinionated...ness...  Though I still suffer from physical trauma I developed from your abuse since grade 10....     

Makou-rin [userpic]

(no subject)

October 17th, 2004 (11:04 pm)
relieved

Feels: relieved

*flutters over and hugs Christoppa for giving her time and listening to her random bitching*  Thank you for understanding.

Makou-rin [userpic]

You should consider how people feel. We don't hate without a fucking reason.

October 17th, 2004 (09:40 pm)
bitchy

Feels: bitchy

So yes, letter of resignation is done.  Giving it right away.  To be honest, I've worked with a lot of irresponsible people before who work hard and shit.  But guess what?  If the leader fails to lead, everything falls apart.  Schedules are made ahead of time so they can be kept.  And if any changes are made WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE PERSON WORKING THAT SHIFT, IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PERSON WHO CHANGED IT TO NOTIFY THE SPECIFIC PEOPLE ABOUT IT. 

So don't fucking tell me, I need to know what I have to do.  It's common curtesy.  And I work my shifts.  I notify and find people to take over shifts I can't take.  I INFORM my boss ahead of time.  So why the hell can't he inform us ahead of time?  What the hell is that?  I took over the shifts people decided to call in sick for during August.  I stayed longer for certain days to make up for others who aren't showing up.  I've done my job.  I've listened patiently and understood everything he asks us to do.  I've tolerated his obliviousness and screw ups and all the times he beared on me concerning problems with OTHER people, successfully making me feel like those people screwed up because of me.  I don't even fucking know half of the people he was talking about. 

I'm juggling school work, traveling time, working with sick kids hospital, helping AN for sick kid's hospital, participating in charity events to raise money for churches, getting a fucking publishing project DONE FOR YOU FUCKING PIECE OF INGRATE BASTARD SHITS!!!!!!!!!!!!  And giving up all my fucking time for all of you!!!  NO FUCK, I'm not fucking busy right?!!!  So I don't need to get a stupid notification of ONE STUPID CRUDDY SHIFT CHANGE WITHOUT BEING THOUGHT OF A FUCKING INGRATE RIGHT?!!! 

FUCK YOU!

You don't know anything.  Don't go melodramatic on me. 

Shit...  this pisses me off.

Makou-rin [userpic]

some late updating~

October 16th, 2004 (04:02 pm)
tired

Feels: tired
Sings: Fullmetal Alchemist OP4 - REWRITE - Asian Kung-fu Generation

The FA visual summary for dummies...Collapse )

Nothing good comes out of keeping me locked in a room full of students for 3 hours straight...

Hahaha...

I'll eat you..

The source of my suffering...Collapse )

My professor says I'm in the wrong class... ;_;  He's trying to persuade me to go to animation...  *whines*  It's my first choice career but there's nothing I can do when I can't AFFORD IT!!!  *cries*  I don't like it sometimes when Professors do this...  *sobs*

.... I want to watch Team America... ;_; No one to see it with though... *sighs*

Makou-rin [userpic]

(no subject)

October 12th, 2004 (12:24 am)
sad

Feels: sad

Speaking of being out of the entertainment loop...

Christoper Reeve died on Sunday? O_O;;

Well, for those who don't know him, he was the actor for the old Superman movie.  He became an activist and spoke a lot for the stem-cell research after he was paralyzed from neck down as a result of an accident back in 1995.  -_-;  He's done a lot in his position.

I remember watching the Superman movie before in TBS.  *raises a brow*  Never really took note of it, but it was really a classic.  One of the few movies I always watch with my dad if it's on.  I know a number of younger people know him for his small role in Smallville, Dr. Virgil Swann.

He's done a lot in his lifetime.  And they weren't exactly for petty reasons.  He gave people hope.  It's really sad to hear him gone..  -_-

   

Makou-rin [userpic]

(no subject)

October 11th, 2004 (06:14 pm)
blank

Feels: myo...

I yoinked this from the Joey-san ~<3

1. Tell me something obvious about you.
2. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
3. What is your most embarrassing fear?
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money.
6. What is your favorite aspect about yourself that you wouldn't change for anything?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.
9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing you absolutely can't say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
19. Name something you've done in your life that you never ever want to do again.
20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?

Makou-rin [userpic]

Teh younger irl and online friends lately....

October 11th, 2004 (01:41 am)
pissed off

Feels: pissed off

...have made me realize something concerning my rather bitter persona lately with everything online and off.

Just as a person in GJ once suggested... Maybe I do need friends of a higher maturity.  I find myself beating dead causes back to life with a stick when the thing already decided to stay stagnant since it's dead in the first place.  Everyone acts differently online and offline.  I do at least.  I don't swear as much online.  I smile a lot.  I only show my anger when I really am pissed off or stressed out beyond reason.  Other than that, I'm pretty passive.  There's also that problem that when I talk to people... we don't seem to reach the same level of 'intellect'.  Kinda like... you start by talking about political issues concerning the upcoming presidential voting, or just the concept of wars and biggotry between races...  and them countering with yesterday's 'Young and the Restless'.  There's also a weak understanding between some of my... acquaintances...

Like, some of them say that they can handle a certain situation, one that I might find highly irrelevant and immature.  It's kinda hard to believe that when ever since you met them, they've spazzed about small things about their life.  How things don't go the way they want it too.. and such.

I just say, if you want me to believe you that you can handle it and for me not to view this as you being someone inexperienced handling a stupidly obvious ordeal that has no point whatsoever, and that you're just not being stubborn, then prove it.  Show me how mature you can be outside and inside this situation.

I just can't see things in the same light.  Maybe it's the age difference... or maybe just cause we have different outlooks in life... But when you continiously admit that it's pointless, and still follow the worse path to deal with it... well... I can't help but feel that there's something wrong in this situation.  Follow what you know is right and act upon it, not what can hurt you the most.  I'm sure everyone belives in the "one must experience to understand" scenario... well... in some situations... If you already understand, then why the fuck do you want the experience?  What if it ends you up into one of those really stupid suicidal stages.  Mostly over a situation you could have completely avoided.

For one thing, most young'uns these days have a sad tendancy of declaring "I'll fucking kill myself now cause *insert name here* doesn't * and reason here* me!".  And for one thing... I'm getting sick and tired of hearing that.  Usually, I'd just say go kill yourself already or something, but apparently that's insensitive.  *rolls eyes*  I for one have experienced a loss of a close friend from suicide since that person was dearly suffering from serious issues.  And it wasn't  because 'mom wouldn't get me a tablet' or 'dad doesn't love me cause he won't get me an X-Box'.  That' not fucking funny.  When you die, you die.  People will cry for a week, they'll remember you ocassionally, but everyone will move on eventually.  You'll be nothing but a mere memory.  The world won't stop to take note of you.  So just take control of your life instead of flaunting about an act of ignorance that you surely know is unnecessary... and live it the best way you can.  One that doesn't include you screwing yourself over, preferably.

I know I'm nagging... and that I'm preaching... but what the hell?!  As much as I love some of my friends... some of you are just really... REALLY... fucking stupid. >_>;;  BTW, if you don't understand any of this, then it probably has nothing to do with you.

(Yeah, yeah.  You can kill me tomorrow in IRC.)   

oh.. and yes...  Happy Thanksgiving. =P  No really.  I'm serious.

Don't eat too much of that stuff though.  It'll knock you out in an hour.  Or comatose you. Hahahahahaha....  >_>;  *goes back into her box*