Comment to be friended back and such.
With recent observations, I've now decided to spend no time online at all until my head clears. So in my absense, I'll say good luck in the new school year and so on.
Eeeeh.. I believe it's sekundes's birthday tomorrow. Sooo... advanced happy birthday. Hope you have a great one this year.
Solana's taken residency in my mind again. X_x;;
I now welcome back the sadistic writing that's bound to show up in that stupid fanfic.
In other news... I now have a Solana in Bryan's X-Box and one in my brother's X-Box. Only... The Solana in my cousin's console is still pretty lame. Solana in the brother's console is wearing full black leather stuff... and everyone in the Heroes guild are cowering in fear from him. O_o;; But he only does good!! He's good!!! Besides the beheading of bandits and all... but he's GOOD!! He's a good boy in my fable games... ;_;
All of the women in Oakvale are in marrying status already with him. XD;; And 3 males... which is kinda scary.... I didn't do anything with them...
Also played around with the beer thingy. Quite funny... I find myself quoting them english characters now though. X3 I specially love the ones when you still have "Chicken Chaser" as your title.
He's Ranger now. >_>;; Cause it got annoying after awhile. I've yet to try the crummiest name, Arseface. XD I think I'll put that on an evil character. well.. bleh... I still have acrylic paint on my keyboard... *tries to scratch it off*
Due to the lack of content in my life, besides ranting and shit, I have now decided to reacquaint myself to my old allergic reaction inducing friend called ethanol (diluted of course you fools) and peach juice. Or at least try to without whining like a little kid.
For that, Trent, Sonia, Mark, Tita Gracey, and a few of the other adopted aunts are gonna paint the world pink and blue in the safety of Tita Gracey's basement bar.
I just realized I haven't seen Sonia in a long time...
....... And for the record, I really hate acrylic paint.
I need someone to personally hit me with a car. Or just drop it on me. I don't care what way really.
Shit... I have a long day and I didn't fucking sleep at all. ~_~
I don't like recurring dreams... I've had this same dream since it happened.
Just the the hell do I have to remember? Why can't it just leave me alone? I want to move on, but this #%$^&&$#@$%# thing won't go away. It just keeps bugging me with that same question... of why things like this had to happen? Almost 13 years...? Has it really been that damned long....?
If I probably forgot it all... maybe things would be different now. I'd feel safer around everyone I trusted... I wouldn't fear or flinch away from the touch of those I love. I wouldn't be so paranoid.
I want to get closer and past beyond that fear...
My head hurts... my body hurts from over excertion over the passed week... I'm moody again... and god do I lack sleep... If this had been the other me in the previous years, I'd be wishing to be dead. Right now, I just want some peace. Sleep the day away... and forget the memories that haunt me from the past.
If it was only possible.
Not moving until after Tuesday probably. Why you ask? Because it's been hell trying to get in contact with Frank. I did Catch Ms. Zubair already. X_x; But that doesn't help. She said "Frank just left too. He was only here for an hour or so." *hits head on the screen* WHY?! OMG!! Why can't I ever catch him when he's there?!! I never get used to calling Ms. Zubair by her first name... ~_~;; It seems so wrong without a 'Tita' or 'Ate' or something.
Anyway... Gonna call him again now.
Concerning moving... I never realized that having to move away even just for the weekdays is such a weird feeling. My brain is already rolling away with those thoughts and worries. There are too much unfinished issues here in Mississauga. I know I seem pretty nonchalant about everything right now, but I do worry. I do regret. And I do get really angry with myself for being so calm and indifferent. I still firmly believe in what I say so I don't exactly regret that.
I know I won't be seeing Regina for awhile.... or anyone in the family. The Grandmother... despite her random secret plans and insinuations about me getting married to a man and making babies... I WILL miss her. She's irritating in her 'get married right away' moments, but at most times she's so gawddamned lovable and cute. I also considered not moving till next week. My Granddad is moving back to the Philippines. He says he can't stand the weather here or the people. We're not exactly sure who he's talking about since all the family friends have shown nothing but kindness to him and he doesn't really go outside. All he does is eat, sleep, go to the washroom, and complain about Saddam and the government. He tried lecturing me about politics before... but that didn't go too well. I'm a bit opnionated when it comes to politics... and another thing is... our politicians in the Philippines are just idiots.. >_>;; My grandmom and mother do pick on him somewhat. But only because he's stubborn. He's also going deaf so it's hard to talk to him. He gets angry over the simplest things though... Like if my grandmom tells him not to hang his undies at a certain place, he goes "You act like you own this house." or something like that. He also gets annoyed when you ask him to sweep the floor. He just is really old... But my grandmother is also around his age and she's been prancing about like a little kid in the house. She used to and occasionally still opens the door before I get to it and hides somewhere in the house so she can scare the bejeezus out of me. X_x;; And trust me... she gets me most of the time.... My greatgrandmother was even older than those two and she was strong enough to walk outside or up and down stairs. But my granddad...? *shakes head* I don't know how he'll manage there... My relatives in the Philippines are probably gonna use him as hostage again for us to send money...
I told my mom that she should never bring me back... (they plan to go December 2005) cause I think I might either maime or comatose one of my cousins there. Don't know which... If you hear half the situations we've been hearing from the phonecalls they made to us before my grandparents came... I think you'd think my claims would be valid. I wish my cousins would stop eloping with men and getting themselves pregnant. The moment they're pregnant, they throw them aside like trash.... morons...
They should at least finish school first. ~_~; Who fucking elopes at 14? What the hell can you do alone at that age when your man runs away from you?
Moving on... I still have a few other issues concerning other people too. Need to fix that before I leave. Other than that.... I don't know... I just don't remember half the stuff I wanted to say after that rant about my cousins.
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Dad is driving me nuts... He's all moody cause my sister argued with him this morning. Now, everything in the house is wrong to him. I can't even get ready to leave cause of all his complaining.
...someone please save me...
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Anyway... last panic attack before the conference.
*randomly flexes Armstrong style*
I R successful. *insert pink sparkles*
Hope I don't blank out tomorrow while I sing. XD;; *prepares her grave*